Welcome to a virtual tour of one of Hamburg's idyllic northern quarters spiced up with information, (dry German) humour (?), perspective, and philosophy! And this little tour might help visitors gain deeper insights into life in Germany overall, from a Ukrainian perspective. Click the red text links to open contextual information in new tabs.
"Willkommen in Hamburg Langenhorn!" Hover mouse inside slide to stop automatic slider progress. Jump to this map, the 2nd slide, using tiny dot buttons under the slider. Map is embdedded as an iframe in this slide. Zoom or drag as needed inside the slide. Location of subsequent slides is identified by the number of the waypoint.
"Start" | (1st waypoint on map) = "Bürgerhaus Langenhorn". This is like a "Будинок культури", while the municipial administration is in the big shopping center, a stone's throw away = "KUZ Langenhorn". That's where one would go to register the residence, for example. Foreigners go to "Zentrale Ausländerbehörde".
"Main drag" in Langenhorn. Lots of little shops, catering to Germans and migrants alike. Mind the wide bike path on the street ... cyclists have the right of way! Even if only in one direction (?). Hardly any room left for cars, and this is intentional. Giving priority to bicycles is political ... among people so well known for their cars.
"2" | The local wine dealer. But the Muslim lady proudly pushing her stroller past can't have any. She's sporting a bright red headscarf ... for her, that is quite daring attire in the overall scheme of things. One wonders, if she could even wear this at home, wherever she came from. Found her own freedom, in Germany.
"3" | Cows carved from wood, happy to greet the vegan Germans. Quite a lot of green here and there in this northern part of the city.
Municipial administration building, part of "Bezirksamt Hamburg Nord". It says "Mütterberatung" (consulting for mothers) in colorful letters in the window. Seems the Muslim lady who just walked past manages to do without it.
"4" | "Langenhorn Mitte - nichts liegt näher" ... the motto means: "Nothing is closer". Could also mean: "Nothing is more evident". Searching for the deeper meaning here.
Hotel Leonardo on Langenhorner Chaussee. Seems like a good central place to stay on a reconnaissance trip. The underground garage height limit is 1.9 m. So better come back with the summer car in the spring ...
On the lookout for neat architecture, this recently built multi-apartment building caught my eye. (B)lockable parking spaces, with a license plate identifying each tenant's spot. Don't come with a loaner! And a mirror, to see on-coming traffic around the corner ... because the hedgerow might block the view. Germans have their priorities.
"5" | "EV.-LUTH. ANSGAR GEMEINDE HAMBURG-LANGENHORN" ... Germans suffer from a terrible level of spiritual impoverishment, and going to mass tends to be a very dry affair. But churches do exist. In northern Germany, most people are Protestants. This church was built in 1930's Bauhaus style.
"6" | Red Cross operates day care center "Kita Wolkenflieger" with "Elternlotsenprojekt" (guidance for parents) offered in multiple foreign languages (note Muslim men). Inside the little wooden garages are all-weather strollers (prams), which can be pulled by bicycle. People do this even in city traffic, which is pure madness.
Not the best weather for taking pictures. But on an early afternoon on a weekday, one gets a glimpse of what everyday life is like in this northern, yet centrally located, rather quiet part of Hamburg.
In between there is rather mundane but clean architecture, built in the 1970's. Some people spend their entire lives in a brick cubicle like this. Better than "Хрущовка", some might say. Lawn is well-kept, but it all needs to be paid for, as quoted on the "Nebenkostenabrechnung" (invoice) issued by the housing cooperative.
... someone built a balcony probably suitable for not much more than drying the laundry. These houses were built by people able to put some money aside during the "economic miracle" of the 1950's - possible because of insatiable demand arising from wholesale destruction during the war, and Germans' hard work.
A really cute and old house, probably painted white only after renovation. A real German - one of the very few to be seen wide and far on this weekday afternoon - was not counting on having his picture taken.
Leaving the main road, one finds side streets which could be in any small village. It was really quiet, no traffic noise, and fresh air. White and red rose bushes caught my eye, as did the sumptuous brushwork on the street corner. Not typically German to be so unkept, at least not by tradition.
"7" | Cute house, unique architecture of the type otherwise found in the ritzy Blankenese neighborhood of Hamburg, situated along the Elbe river. Blankenese is probably the most coveted waterfront property in Germany ... owners and tenants there routinely ignore the climate-alarmists' warnings on rising sea levels (!).
It says "Aktiv Pflege". "Pflege" means "care", but everyone now understands it to mean "care for the elderly". Somehow Germans think the government should take care of this. It's big business now - a lot of people are in that line of work. Heading for a demographic cliff, soon houses will be empty, people caring for the elderly unemployed.
A professional laundry & tailor. Very reasonable prices posted outside. Operated by hard-working foreigners since 2015. While this particular establishment certainly looks 'legit', in theory, this type of business makes for a fantastic ML (money laundering) opportunity. No inventory throughput ... just washing the same old clothes, day in, day out.
"8" | The yellow sign on that house says "upholstery repair". There is a lot of old furniture in the area, owned probably not by young people, but by people who still have some money to spare. Hamburg is one of the richest cities in the European Union, by per capita GDP.
"9" | Now heading west from "Langenhorner Chaussee" along "Buurredder" street. These 2 houses probably once looked the same, and have been remodeled by their individual owners as time went by. The upper floor, built so you can actually stand up tall under the roof, is really neat.
"10" | Walking further along that street reveals a new development, shown here and on the following 3 slides.
The bicycle parking lot is intriguing ... apparently bike theft is not an issue in Hamburg. But the weather is. A magnificient tree dominates the center of the courtyard ... one wonders if they built the entire building complex around it. Oversized garbage bins have been moved underground...
... labels indicate where to put what type of trash. Germans go nuts about separating the garbage. I mean really nuts (e.g. important rule: pizza boxes with old cheese stuck on them not suitable for cardboard recycling).
To the right is the entrance to a sizable underground garage. A sign "Feuerwehrzufahrt freihalten" warns to keep passage unobstructed for the fire brigade. But the garbage truck will have to park right there, at the most ungodly hour, making a lot of noise. Total engineering overkill.
"11" | Beyond the rural "Masenredder" street is a colony of "Schrebergärten". Much smaller in size than "Особисте селянське господарство", these garden plots nevertheless served a similar purpose for the proletariat, especially during wars and runaway inflation Germans experienced in the first half of the last century.
"12" | Another memorable wood carving in the parks of Langenhorn. This tower is finished, much in contrast to the tower of Babylon represented by the European Parliament building at Strasbourg, where the vast majority of laws affecting all Germans are "rubber-stamped" ... Some say this has biblical implications.
"13" | This older apartment block is rather close to the U-Bahn (subway/metro) station. A solid sign advertises a vacancy, that sign probably having been placed there long before the previous tenants are to leave. There are official statistics on average rent prices: Mietspiegel.
This real estate agency is not desperate to find a new tenant - the rent seems a bit above average. Apart from basic rent, and "Nebenkosten" (which might include heating, and water - or might not), there is also the electricity bill. Padded with hefty taxes to subsidize renewable energy projects, it plunges many Germans into poverty.
"14" | With SEO, one click can sell a ball of chewing gum ... or an entire appartment. So I am really into real estate. Construction on the "Oxpark" complex started in 2012, apparently not yet finished 8 years onwards. Building permits take very long. Rentals ready to move in available elsewhere in Langenhorn.
The construction of new housing developments in such a central location received quite some attention, given Hamburg's chronic housing shortage. But these apartment blocks look less than inviting, as if on a semi-permanent construction site.
Always good to check reality vs. pictures advertised on websites. What a contrast to an advertised Musterhaus. This development is clearly not finished yet, despite being sold out. Better check Germany's premier real estate website for prices and availability.
There are several "Kita" (KInderTAgesstätte = Kindergarden) nearby. An old factory houses one, also various businesses and even restaurants like in a park setting. Judging by the "Spatzennest" website it seems this day care center is not operated by the government (?). "Spatz" is a little bird, also used to describe small children.
"Finish" | Langenhorn in Hamburg's north seems like a good place for raising kids, and for buying real estate. It is said that real estate prices have never gone down in Hamburg. Quality of life is superb - for example, you can go sailing on "Außenalster". Get your skipper's license right here.
